The Return of Stickman #1082

This factoids for today's strip came out of a plumber's newsletter. The whole drinking from the tap to save the planet, that came from a commercial. The snarky attitude, that's all Stickman, Baby!

The Return of Stickman #1081

This year has actually been quite good to me. It certainly has been kinder to me than to several of my friends. Some of my friends lost their homes this year, others filed for bankruptcy, some had to do both. A few lost their spouse through separation, divorce and death. So this strip is not for me, it's for all of those who want desperately to put this year behind them.

The Return of Stickman #1080

I had a most excellent Christmas holiday. It involved a frozen pipe, a telephone repairman, and multiple trips to the comic book store. You know, same old, same old.

Polly Law's Word Project on Kickstarter

My friend Polly Law and I go back many year. We first met when she was the National President of the Graphic Artists Guild. At the Guild Conventions Polly and I (and a few others) would stay up into the night playing board games. Cartoonists, Graphic Artists, booze and board games make for an interesting late night experience. But Polly and I didn't drink because we needed all of our brain cells for Scrabble. Polly's love for words is something to see. I'm one of her supporters on this project, and I hope after taking a look at it you will be too. Check it out.

The Return of Stickman #1079

Oh, you just know those photos are going to haunt that detective for the rest of his life.

My good friend James Stowe is doing his own version of The Twelve Days of Christmas in a single panel cartoon he is updating each day on his blog, Art by Stowe. He has featured several of his friends and their comics. Go there to see The Return of Stickman, and a running commentary by The Comic Critic.

The Return of Stickman #1078

Another special call out to my homies Bill and Gene over at Unshelved. If you want to read far superior librarian humor than you have seen here, they be the place to go. The returned book will be going into a special exhibit at the library. I thought about doing another strip wondering what the name of that exhibit would be. But I think I will leave that to Bill and Gene if they want it.

The Return of Stickman #1077

I hope my friend Bill Barnes over at Unshelved doesn't mind me digging into library related material.

The Return of Stickman 1076

The report I read said the girl was egged on by her friends. I'm kind of wondering why they didn't end up on the hood.

The Return of Stickman #1075

Just how awful does your own bathroom have to be that you are drawn to using one in the house that you broke into? Well, I guess this character is going to have to be careful picking up the soap for the foreseeable future.

The Return of Stickman #1074

Who wouldn't want a Christmas wreath at the discounted price of $10? Especially if it is being sold at the courthouse? Granny should have removed the pricetags.

The Return of Stickman #1073

You might think it odd that somebody would want more than one totem pole, but I can relate. I've helped to carve a number of totem poles. My parents have one in their living room. Their rather tall living room. Someday, in the far distance future, I'm going to have to move that thing. Again.

The Return of Stickman #1072

The Holiday Season is not a jolly time for everyone. Some folks are a bit on edge. Maybe even somebody you live with. You better know what side your bread is buttered on.

The Return of Stickman #1071

I want to thank Jeff for reminding me to post this great guest strip he sent in. Thanks, Jeff!

The Return of Stickman #1070

I've already been asked why I didn't mention the fact of the suspect being an employee of a university, and the incident taking place on the campus of a rival university. My response is that you sometimes are provided with too much material.

The Return of Stickman #1069

The hotline has been in operation for the last fifty years.

The Return of Stickman #1068

I found this quirky law on the internet. Everybody knows that anything you read on the internet is true. And it not really a no guns for gimps law, merely an exemption to a requirement. Sheesh. Read the fine print people.

The Return of Stickman #1067

I'm not favoring Tacoma in any way here. I'm sure there are armed pizza delivery guys in all fifty states.

The Return of Stickman #1066

I have about three more strips on this topic I could draw up. Living in a state that borders Canada, and having crossed it countless times, I just can't fathom someone not being familiar with the concept that they will need to obeying the laws of that country, and that maybe they might want to get familiar with those laws.

The Return of Stickman #1065

Sure, the reporter could have wrote, "Thieves steal dozens of bras." but, "Thieves LIFT dozens of bras." does capture the attention just a bit more. And just so our minds are left completely in the gutter at the end of the story, they save the line about the surveillance recordings until the very end. Professional journalism at its best.

The Return of Stickman #1064

I considered doing a week's worth of strips on the topic of Thanksgiving during my vacation. Instead, I ate turkey and took a nap.

The Return of Stickman #1063

This story has me wondering how many other endangered species have been released onto Fort Lewis.

The Comic Critic Reviews: A Boy and His Dog

I might have posted this review of A Boy and His Dog a long time ago, but when I checked the site earlier today I didn’t find it anywhere. So, I’m posting it again. Hopefully it will stay up this time. My brother Randy told me about this movie. Now my memory fails me because I can’t remember if he dragged me to the theater or I sat down one evening to watch it on Showtime. But, what I do remember is that I did see it for the first time with him, and that we had a blast watching it together.

The Return of Stickman #1062

I was just in Cedar Rapids earlier this month. It's a very nice place. Of course, I wasn't expecting any mail.

The Return of Stickman #1061

You have to wonder how tough Seattle is when ninjas end up impaled.

The Return of Stickman #1060

This didn't actually happen to me, but it did happen to a friend of mine. I wonder what he is going to go now.

The Return of Stickman #1059

Upon catching the little four footed saboteur I contemplated how else I could wreck my vegance on the vermin, but his little tail sticking straight out with rigor mortis softened my cruel heart.

The Return of Stickman #1058

Just in case you were wondering why the posting was so late yesterday and today.

The Return of Stickman #1057

This is less of a comment about how I think of this stuff and more of a comment of how this stuff gets presented to me by the media. A simple new header would have been "Dolphins Responsible for Porpoises Death", but no, I get to read the header "Sexually Frustrated Dolphins Abuse Porpoise". Does every news story have to sound like it came out of Gossip Tabloid?

The Return of Stickman #1056

Honest to god, the new reporter I was listening to actually said the line in the fifth panel. And in an instant I immediately knew what today's strip was going to be.

The Return of Stickman #1055 and the Jeff Hawley visit the Cartoon Museum

The question I want to ask the BBC, my source for this story, is why they are bothering to report it when the lady still has to complete the practical?

In other news, my good friend and fellow Talon of The CLAW, Jeff Hawley, went to see the Monsters of Webcomics exhibit at the Cartoon Art Museum in San Francisco. Months ago both he and I submitted strips for the exhibit and here is a photo of Jeff pointing to a Stickman strip as it popped up in the virtual exhibit. Thanks for the shot Jeff.



Jeff does a webcomic about a talking tree called Logjam.

The Comic Critic Reviews: Hanzo The Razor: Sword of Justice

I’m trying to remember which one of my friends recommended Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice. While I can understand his honorable intentions in introducing me to a new-to-me form of cult-driven film, he should have stressed that this is not a date movie.  (Features like these are the reason I have a hard time getting my wife to watch movies with me.) After the first twenty minutes, we turned it off to watch something we could enjoy together.

Later the next day, I finished watching it. Why did I go back to something I found very uncomfortable? I’ve always have felt the need to watch a film all the way through; otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to make an honest appraisal. There would always be nagging questions, “Did it get any better?” and “Does the sixties jazz soundtrack, more-Shaft-than-Shogun, turn into something more traditional?” For my own piece of mind, and because by that point I wanted to draw a review, I finished watching, but let me assure you, it was no fun.

A few of you kind readers are also fans of manga and anime. Some of you might know that Hanzo the Razor was originally a manga created by the same hand that made Lone Wolf and Cub. Some of you might even know that in “Samurai Champloo,” the over-the-top policeman character named Mando was a parody of Hando. Still, I urge you not to seek out this film. And if you do, don’t watch it with your wife—or anyone else you ever want to look in the eye again.

The Return of Stickman #1054

I want to thank Connor Bogdanovic, a big fan, for this great contribution to the strip.

The Return of Stickman #1053

While I was on a layover in Chicago I was inspired to call my friend John Schmelzer. He reminded me that the last guest strip he sent had yet to go up on the net. I promised him that I would post it as soon as I got home. Thanks John!

The Return of Stickman #1052

Who confronts a homeless guy who just shoved a ferret into his pants? Last I heard, both the man and the ferret were "at-large."

The Return of Stickman #1051

There are two schools of thought with the severed feet. The logical one is that a body decaying in water looses extremities and the foot, being protected by a shoe, survives long enough to be discovered. The not so logical one is that there is a mad butcher going around leaving the feet on beaches as his calling card. Either way, it's just damn creepy.

The Return of Stickman #1050

And I would have gotten away for it! If it wasn't for that damn lonely spider.

The Return of Stickman #1049

The Comic Critic Reviews "Fido", and The Return of Stickman #1048

October has been “Zombie Month” here at the Comic Critic. This version of the walking dead places us in an idealized 1950s America. Except all the cold war paranoia has been replaced with Zombie paranoia. And those mid-century high ideals have a hard time meshing with the gruesomeness of the living dead. Both zombie film aficionados and John Q. Public are in store for plenty of laughs as homage is doled out to early American sit-coms. Fido is a lot of fun.


Every time I start writing a comment on a Stickman strip I come up with another idea for a stickman strip. I wonder if this topic is a dead horse yet. Will that stop me?

The Return of Stickma #1047

Lots more to this study. I'm tempted to do another strip. Wait and see. My first thought was, "Who is spending the money to do this study?"

The Return of Stickman #1046

What a bummer for the car dealership guy. First he doesn't get a commission, then he looses his iphone, and you just know he's going to get grilled when he gets back to the dealership. It's enough to make you want to change careers.

The Return of Stickman #1045

I can understand the guy not calling the cops. I wouldn't want to be part of a death-risking high speed chase either. But, just how well will your situation go down with your boss when you call it in?

The Comic Critic Reviews "Die You Zombie Bastards!"

Die You Zombie Bastards! is a great title for a movie. It lures you with the promise of a wholesale massacre of zombies. Woe be unto you, you hapless soul, if you saw this movie without first reading a description of it. Even the one I read gave me some hope:
“Red, a serial killer and cannibal, battles against an evil bent on filling the world with Zombies.”

But to be honest, I was already enticed by the title alone. For my pains, I was rewarded with a cruel, visual bludgeoning of this campy farce. At every turn, it tried to overact, over-ham, over-gross, over-digest, or otherwise to leave its audience with an icky feeling: they would be better off without their eyeballs. It was bad for the sake of being bad, awful for the sake of being awful, and it somehow made full-frontal nudity an eyesore of a memory.

General moviegoers might be under the impression that zombie movie fans have a higher tolerance for awful plots and terrible dialog, all for the sake of watching some gore on the screen. But that’s not the case. We can be as deeply disappointed as the next guy when we are served up a heaping portion of swill.

Yet, even after watching this tragedy, I still want to buy a t-shirt with the film title emblazoned on the chest. And I can’t get that accursed theme song out of my head.

The Return of Stickman #1041

I've always been a fan of country fairs and largest pumpkin contests and the like. I wonder where the ribbon for this one will go.

The Return of Stickman #1040

Our men in blue see a lot of stuff that nobody should have to see.

The Return of Stickman #1039

Check out my Night of the Lepus movie review. The funny part was the stampede footage was obviously lifted from a much older generic cowboy movie. But, the movie did show what a threat giant bunnies pose to the world.

The Return of Stickman #1038

Just why didn't they report how much rabbit scat was involved? Just what poses a threat, the amount of rabbit scat, or the radioactivity?

The Return of Stickman #1036

It was pointed out to me that I might have missed a number in the sequence. Oops. Well, at least the story for this week is still in sequence. Honest, this IS the plan the government came up with for the radioactive planet poop.

The Return of Stickman #1037 and The Comic Critic Reviews Zombieland

I saw this film with Elliot Trotter and several of his friends. Elliot is a co-founder of The Cartoonists’ League of Absurd Washingtonians, otherwise known as The CLAW. I’d hoped some fellow members of CLAW would also be able to make it, but it was just the small group of us. After the film, as we waited through the credits to see what sort of surprise might have been tacked on, we had the following discussion:

“So? What rating are you going to give it?” Elliot asked.
“I’m going to give it a seven,” I responded.
“What?! Only a seven?!”
“Okay, maybe I will push it to an eight because of the (insert spoiler here).”
“No. Really? Tell me what you thought was wrong with that film.”
“I can tell you what’s wrong with you.”
“Oh?”
“You have movie afterglow.”
“Ha ha ha ha ha,” We both laughed, “Ha ha ha.”
“So, you’re telling me that movie is a ten?” I asked.
“Well…” Elliot hedged.
“Tell me what rating you would give it.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
There was a tack-on after the credits and we watched it.
“Ha ha ha ha ha,” We both laughed, “Ha ha ha.”



Radioactive rabbit scat. How come I'm the only cartoonist drawing about this? It's pure..um..gold?